Sunday, August 9, 2009

I survived

Today I gave my first ever sermon in church ... and I survived! Hurrah!

Okay - it was only 5 minutes, and it was during our summer of homegroup-led services where things are a bit more laid back, but I think it went well. Normally, public speaking scares the crap out of me but today I felt quite relaxed about it. I have spoken in church before (the last time, I think, was during JKY's dedication - but that was more of a speech).

No-one came back at me and accused me of heresy (which is usually a sign that things didn't go so well) but I did have a few comments of encouragement, which was good.

And there's the thing - I've always fancied myself as a preacher. Not because I have any better insight than anyone else, or that I'm hot on the latest theology (believe me, that ain't the case!), but because if I'm honest a part of me likes standing up in front of a large crowd and getting all the attention. I know myself well enough at this stage in life to identify my insecurities, and craving attention is one of them. The thing is, I'm not very good at actually getting that attention. I'm naturally shy, and not the life and soul of the party, but like anyone else I want to feel appreciated and liked - so I suppose having a congregation listening intently to your sermon is one way to achieve this.

Therein lies the danger of pride and selfishness.

I've spent time with God recognising this entirely understandable human flaw - giving it to Him and not deliberately going after attention in this way - but have been open to the fact that maybe God might want to use me in this capacity, and get me to share something from the pulpit (not that we have a pulpit at my church, but there you go).

I hope and pray that if I'm ever asked to preach again, then I'll remember to do so humbly with an attitude of openness to the Lord - not so I can get lots of attention and become the star of my own show.

No comments:

Post a Comment